All posts in behaviour

Does Caffeine Make You Anxious?

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How often do you visit a coffee shop? These days there seems to be one on every street corner full of people talking and laughing and being very continental.

When you are there, what coffee do you drink? Most importantly how does it make you feel? And, if, for some reason you do not have your coffee hit are you then in withdrawal? Caffeine is a powerful drug. We don’t just get a caffeine hit only from our espresso or skinny latte you will find caffeine in sports drinks, Red Bull etc. It is supposed to give us a boost (or wings), and it does but there can be other emotional side effects as well.

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Live in the Present, Let go of the Past

Who was the last person to get on your nerves, upset you in some way, or do you a wrong? When you think of them, or the event, how does it make you feel?

Often when you recall past hurts we relive the emotions of that time. It is as though they are happening again in your present. When you do this it can become a habit and you then find that you are living in the past, this is often the seed of unhappiness and depression. Continue reading →

Pay it forward and ensure your fulfilment

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Yesterday Rie reminded me of a movie we had watched together, pay it forward. We decided to watch it again because the concept is not only good but it is also real. If you haven’t seen the movie watch this trailer to get the gist.

If we all paid it forward then we would create heaven on earth and immediately overcome all suffering. The idea used in the film is that of multiples of three. So that if one person looks after three and each of these three look after three, more and more people are looked after. In the film the process is done anonymously, no one ever knows that they are being helped.

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Anxiety and happiness can never live together

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When I am working with clients, I always try to understand how various psychological problems fit into human evolutionary development. The nature of the mind to create phobic reaction to various situations is quite understandable. After all, if we did not respect height, we would have all fallen out of the trees long ago in our evolutionary past and we would have ceased to exist. To be phobic about height is to take that natural respect and view it through an emotional magnifying glass that turns it into an enormous problem.

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When we take an eye for eye, we all end up blind

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I find that I have two very definite selves. The first one is oddly energised and fascinated by the capture and death of Muammar Gaddafi. This part of me needs, in some strange way, to watch the news videos. I find myself fascinated by the end of a man who, apparently, caused so much pain and suffering to so many people. I find myself, kind of ‘rubber necking’, like when I pass a pile-up on the motorway. Then I have a feeling of some sort of internal disgust at my need to be fascinated by it all. It is as though, through the magic window of the television, we all become voyeurs of the most shocking and depraved images, and the same is also true of the internet. Yet these images are real, they did happen and people witnessed them. Strange how the TV can turn them into something that feels more like a Hollywood movie than real life. Continue reading →

What would you not leave home without?

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What is it that you ensure that you must have with you everyday? I guess that for most people these days, their mobile phone must be at the top of the list. The things that are most important to us are dependent on what we are doing at that time. Continue reading →

Happiness is infectious; it might become an epidemic!

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It seems that leaders across the world are now deciding to tell us that happiness is a state of mind, and of course it is. Bhutan is thought of as a place where happiness is described as their “gross domestic product“. This is a level of enlightenment that the rest of us can only observe with envy (or discount as nonsense).

All that we now know about the brain and neuroscience tells us that this idea is really on the money, and that we all do create our own experience, in the sense that we do have choices as to how we respond to any event in life. It is hard to decide whether the political drive behind publishing such an idea as happiness for all is real concern for our welfare or a way of making the difficult decisions about economic cuts more palatable. Continue reading →

Who Moved My Cheese?

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Last week saw the birthday of my son Robert, Happy Birthday Robert. Twenty-three is a good age! The issue of what do you buy a twenty-three year old doesn’t really come into play as Robert is a, not so secret, consumer, and so Rie and I took him to the Trafford in Manchester so that he could enjoy spending some dosh.

The Trafford (Centre) is one of those enormous shopping malls that are a world of their own. If you arrive at the Trafford on a midwinter day, with the snow thick on the ground, you would walk into the mall into a controlled temperature closer to the tropics amidst a Grecian, classic design and palm trees, not forgetting an amazing fountain that shoots water about forty feet into the air. Continue reading →

How Easy is it to Share?

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A while ago, a friend of mine, Brian, borrowed my car to take his brother John to a town about thirty miles away. About two hours later, a policeman knocked on the door to tell that I had been in a car accident and that I was in A&E. Well, it wasn’t me. Brian had put his face through the steering wheel in a head-on smash, and it was a long time before he looked like Brian again. Continue reading →