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Communication is a Human Need
Communication is a Human Need
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The light of love shines in your eyes
The light of love shines in your eyes
Let me tell you a story...
The light that comes from love can be seen in the face of lovers; it shines in their eyes. When they are with each other, they have a wondrous glow as the light of love fills their hearts and their faces, and when they part, the light dims and they have sadness about them.
The light of expectation
When we arrived at the ashram, my good friend Naz was filled with that light of love. He was planning to meet a lady again, called Stephie, who had travelled a while with us just a few months previously. They had formed an attachment though, at the time, John Ironbridge, our other travelling companion, had remarked the classic, ‘It will all end in tears’. And although I thought he was probably right, I simply said, ‘Emm!’ and maintained my stance as eternal observer. Stephie was as fickle a butterfly as Naz, and consistency and commitment did not appear in her vocabulary.
The glow of longing
On the day that we had arrived, Stephie had been in retreat, fasting in silence, so we had not seen her for the first week. Naz was palpably disappointed. It was then that I began to understand the ‘light of love’ issue. On the journey from the river, Naz had been talking non-stop about Stephie, to the point where John asked him to ‘give it a break’, but I could see that it was becoming a love thing, though I doubted Naz could or would ever admit that.
It can be hard to admit to yourself that you are in love
It made me laugh inside, because Naz always played the part of the cool dude whose heart was unobtainable to any one woman, and so he always played the field, but without commitment. But I could see that there was something in Stephie that had hooked him in. He was, in my mother’s terms, ‘smitten’. I was aware how difficult their parting had been for him though, as John pointed out, not for Stephie. Stephie had things planned with other people who she had been travelling with before, that she was committed to, and although both John and I had given Naz our blessing and said it was ok with us if he went with Steph, Naz was set on staying with us. He said, ‘No, we agreed when we set out that, come what may, we would see this through together and I will keep my promise.’
The light of commitment
This declaration by Naz was a bolt out of the blue. I had never seen him be committed to anything or anyone and I guess I always suspected that there would come a time when he would find another path and move off. I kind of just expected it to happen at some point. And I was moved by his statement and realised what a strong bond the three of us had developed.
The light of knowing
They say that you never know someone until you live with them. Maybe there is something beyond that and you only know someone when you travel with them. Our travelling had not been holiday travelling; we had walked, hitched, trained and trucked for over three-thousand miles and we had many miles yet to go. We had been safe and easy, in danger and threat, in love and laughter, and aggressions and tears. The road we travelled was really the road of life and, like in the story of the pilgrim’s progress, each mile and each day had new lessons awaiting us that tested us individually and together.
The light of friendship
The fact Naz had bonded with John and I made me realise just how much we had been through together. I realised that we were now brothers in spirit and in fact, and that, whatever happened now, we would always be that way for the rest of life. In that bonding, that was a bonding of love; we had a concern for each other and a desire that we should each achieve what we really wanted from our journey, but also from our lives.
As we travelled and talked, met people and experienced life, it became clearer with every step that what John wanted was to find a master who had both the knowledge and wisdom that he could respect and to whom he would become a devotee. Naz was looking for something, though he did not know what it was, but was sure that when he found it, it would all become clear. So it was vital that he experience everything that he possibly could, whenever he could, just in case he missed it.
The light of realisation
For me, the more we talked into the night, the thing that I saw in the darkness beyond the fire was my need for the light of understanding; I needed to know, in the fullest sense of the word, about people and about things, about God and about life. I needed to know why my childhood had been as it was; I needed to make sense of my life. I knew that I would not find it in a guru and in becoming a disciple or devotee, though I was sure that many teachers would each give me their bit of the mosaic of life, so that I would end up with a picture of life that made sense to me and made my life worthwhile.
When the light goes out
Looking at Naz now, I had a fear that he, my brother, was about to be hurt in a very big way. On the journey from the river, John had felt it too and tried to address this with him. John was, in many ways, parental and he was concerned that Naz would be hurt by Steph. Naz was so busy being cool and acting like nothing mattered that he would not address it.
We had been in Satsang, when Steph came in and sat on the other side of the hall. Naz began to glow and, as we chanted, I could hear a deep passion in his voice that had never been there before. He was looking towards Steph, though I noticed she was not looking towards him. John caught my eye and I could see his concern.
At the end of the session, we all tipped out into the sun. Naz was pushing ahead to get to Steph, so he was just ahead of us when we got to the door. There, framed in the door, was Steph in the arms of a man, who I later was introduced to as Peter. Watching Naz from behind, I could see his shoulders drop as he crumpled. Steph turned and waved at him and pranced off with her man. By the time I got to Naz, tears were running freely down his face, tears that extinguished any light that had been there before.
When you have a yappy dog, there are times when you just want it to shut up and be quiet. But when you have had a yappy dog, yapping for a month, that is suddenly silent, it feels as though something has died, that something is missing. I had never known Naz be quiet and it was like a death. Following any death, there is bereavement and that is a process that needs to be worked through organically and cannot be hurried. And so, for what turned into many weeks, John and I attended to Naz as he recovered.
The Sun will always rise again
Naz was seeking to learn from experience and the universe had kindly provided the lesson. From that day on, his relationships were very different, and, as John said, ‘He is much more responsible now’. I didn’t see the light of love in his eyes again for many, many years, until he finally met someone who was the ‘the one’ and then he shone like the Sun and that is a light that never goes out.
How is your light?
In your life, is there a light of love? Have you ever had your light put out by another person? Have you ever put out another person’s light? In the month of light, we need to let go of negative associations and feeling for those that have done us wrong in the past, and we need to turn to the future with the light of love and enjoy it.
So, who is it that you can the shine the light of your love on?
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Sunshine month takes me away
Sunshine month takes me away
We’re all going on a summer holiday
As I write this blog, the lads are loading the car, checking the oil and water in the engine. All I have to do now is to finish this, press send and then, as is my habit, check that the water bottles are full, back the car out of the drive and head for the horizon and the rising Sun. I love that feeling, the freedom of the open road and the wonder of not knowing what is around the next bend. I have Canned Heat playing in my head ‘...I’m on the road again’; it brings back so many good memories.
The dawn is such a magical time in all senses of the word. We use the image of the dawn to describe newness, breakthroughs, and new horizons: the dawn of the technical age, the dawn of the industrial society, the dawn of understanding. I see clients every day who experience that sense of coming into the light when, perhaps, for the first time in their lives, they can see things with a hitherto unknown clarity, as the truth dawns on them for the first time.
The person who is awake is always learning
In Ayurveda, my original training, it is acknowledged that the purpose of life is about learning, and that our body’s senses, mind and emotions are all designed to enable this to happen. Learning is a life-long process, though people may stop learning and growing at any age. Some people will cease development while in their childhood and may exhibit the emotional maturity of a seven-year old when they are seventy. However, the reverse may also be true, so that a seven-year old may possess the wisdom of a seventy-year old.
What is dawning on you?
If you are a growing, waking person, and I guess you are or you would not be reading this, there will be dreams, challenges and developments going on in your life that will represent new dawnings of understanding for you. I think about this a lot and review where I am up to. I use the contemplation part of my meditation sessions to do this, so dawnings are...
Time waits for no man
I often heard this one, but it is dawning on me that time passes quickly and it is easy to procrastinate; there are things that I want to do before I turn up my toes. I was reading something by Jack Canfield that suggested writing down the one hundred things you would like to do before you die. That got me thinking, so I have set myself some goals.
Things to be done
My top five are...
1) To develop my life and my relationships in such a way that they benefit not only me, but all those that I interact with, especially with my Rie.
2) To develop the courses so that I have at least one thousand people a year doing the Ten Steps Program
3) To get all the books written that I have in my head
4) To record more music albums and maybe do some performing
5) To create a purpose-built environmentally-friendly building that is used as a centre of learning, therapy and respite for those on the path of self-development
It dawned on me many years ago that the only way to achieve these things is to be focussed on the task and to be consistent and persistent in all that I do to achieve my aims.
What are your five?
You may be able to go for the hundred, though five is a good start. What are the things that it is dawning on you that need to be done? It is time to get them done. Try not to put off till tomorrow what you need to get done today.
Hey ho and away I go
But task number one is to go and enjoy my holiday. Tomorrow, I will wake in Lille France and then heading down through Belgium, Luxemburg and Switzerland to stay in Basil. Then the Italian lakes for a while and then back up through Mont Blanc and Dijon. Watch the site and I’ll keep you posted on progress and try and use this wonderful technology to post some pics on the site.
So pop by Wednesday and have a wonderful week.
Sean x
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You can’t have one without the other
What do you fear?
What scares you?
Anyone who looks inside themselves will know that we all have fears. Some large and some small, but we have some. It is easy to be dismissive when we are with someone who is scared of something that does not bother us. Their fears can seem ridiculous and even unbelievable. Yet when it is turned the other way around, our own fears may seem silly to them. Although it can be hard to have tolerance of others at such times, tolerance is the very thing that we need to live together in society and to create the reality of our potential for heaven on earth right now.
Three men in reflective mood
Jon, Naz and I had tumbled from the Moonies, an experience that had not served us well, yet it made us think and discuss and that is no small thing. In a world in which, for the majority of people, the chances of an original thought making the short journey across their brain cells is very unlikely, discussion and debate are powerful drivers. We talked long into the night about why the people that we had arrived with had chosen to stay and we had moved on.
Some people need teachers
Jon, in his slow, deliberate way, shared that he felt that all people needed guidance and the Divine Principle gave them just that. He also felt that people needed a figure-head, someone to look up to as an example of how to be, how to live. Mr Moon, for his disciples, represented just that and most importantly he was a living example of what he shared. After all, Jesus, Krishna and Buddha are all dead and are only ever seen though the eyes of people that had known them or had known the people that had known them. Jon was sure that having a living Guru was preferable to having a dead deity. Jon was not saying that Mr Moon was not the second coming, it was just that he felt that he needed to experience other teachers to know. When I suggested that we might know the rightness of something by how we felt about it, Jon replied that, for him, feelings were fickle and pointed out that all those that had stayed had feelings and for them, they felt that Mr Moon was what we were told he was.
Some people need joy
Naz spoke quickly, with a bounce to his voice. His take was that life in heaven, or heaven on earth if we find it, should be fun and full of laughter. It should be a joy to be a part of it, like walking into a warm, summer day or swimming in an ice-cold stream, something that made you feel awake and alive. “That was like sitting in an ice-box or trying to swim through porridge, no heaven there!” Naz thought that the people who stayed had done so through fear. Like the Roman Catholic idea of a fearsome God, the message had seemed to him to be that there would be dire consequences of rejecting the teachings and that alone made him want to do just that.
Some people need to feel
I could see both of their points. My world is one of feeling, in both the gross and refined sense. The intuitive, empathic part of me did not feel at ease with either the people or the teachings that we had experienced, and the issues of ‘this is the only way’ created an instant rejection in me, as I see heaven as totally inclusive. So, in my heaven, while there is room for Roman Catholics and Moonies, there is also room for everyone else as well, even, in the end, murderers and rapists, subject to repentance.
We all fear something
I looked at them both and said, “If the people we have left back there have stayed because they fear the consequences of not staying, it means that their actions are motivated by that fear. Does that mean that our need to go was motivated by our fear as well, and if it was, what are we scared of?”
The fear of losing life
Naz was straight onto that one. “I know my fear,” he said. “I fear the living death that comes from having no spark of excitement. A world where there is nothing new and everything is fixed and set and unchangeable. Everything is changing all the time. I think they were all scared of change and they wanted someone to tell them what to do and what to think. It was like being in a coffin back there. I mean, there were times when I felt like I couldn’t even breathe. I reckon they were as scared of leaving as I was of staying.”
The fear of not knowing
Jon laughed. “Would it have been so bad to stay? I didn’t think that Mr Moon was what they thought he was, but the teachings were not that bad, were they? I think you, Naz, are just scared of any commitment. Any faith or belief that can hold you still for any length of time will be very powerful indeed. You need something that has continual excitement and that doesn’t exist. I believe that there is a truth, an absolute truth, and that can only be found through study and consideration. My biggest fear is that I will never find the truth, that I will never find my way, my path, and I will wander the planet until I die searching.”
The fear of worthlessness
“I think that Naz is right. I felt that they stayed through the fear that was fed them by the teaching, and I, like you Jon, seek a truth that would make sense of my life, but not just my life, of all of life. I fear that I will not find it. But my real fear is that I am of no consequence, that my existence is meaningless and that there is no point in being alive. I spent my childhood feeling worthless and what I seek is the knowledge that would tell me that I am worth something and that I have a value. I am scared that I will not find it and that I will prove to myself that I am worthless and that my life is pointless.”
For us three, we could at least begin to acknowledge our fears and insecurities. The mere fact that we could do this together suggested a security that we had between us, but had yet to understand and value. What we had was a growing bond of trust and friendship.
What do you fear?
Through superstition and fear, man has created rituals to increase his sense of safety in a changing and uncertain world. This has gone from the sacrifice of animals and humans through to the superstitious acts of touching wood and saying good morning to magpies, not picking up a knife and not walking under ladders, not to mention black cats crossing your path and throwing salt over your shoulder.
We all have fears and virtually all fears are groundless. Life is safe virtually all of the time. Even in war, moment by moment people are safe. Fear, anxiety, panic and generalised lack of safety are almost always states of mind, or I should say states of emotion. To the focused mind, life has all the certainty that Jon would seek and the joy that Naz would expect and, for me, when I am focused, life just feels right, all is as it should be and I know my place within it.
So, what do you fear? Whatever it is, it is almost certainly groundless, as you will discover if you work on it. But if it does have a basis, then do something about it. There may be things that you need to do practically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, in therapy or with friends and support.
It only changes when you act
All life is a journey from birth to death. To the focused mind, it is a journey of joy and wonder. When we see those things that we fear as obstacles on our journeys so that we approach them with the determination to overcome and get beyond them, then we grow. When we see fear as an impenetrable wall, we are stuck and can move no further and we fail to see the joy in our life. Whatever your situation, if you need to, do something about it, then you will find the joy and happiness that is rightfully yours.
Be happy.
Sean x
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How tolerant are you?
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