BlogHere comes the fall
ShareThisThe light of love shines in your eyes
The light of love shines in your eyes
Let me tell you a story...
The light that comes from love can be seen in the face of lovers; it shines in their eyes. When they are with each other, they have a wondrous glow as the light of love fills their hearts and their faces, and when they part, the light dims and they have sadness about them.
The light of expectation
When we arrived at the ashram, my good friend Naz was filled with that light of love. He was planning to meet a lady again, called Stephie, who had travelled a while with us just a few months previously. They had formed an attachment though, at the time, John Ironbridge, our other travelling companion, had remarked the classic, ‘It will all end in tears’. And although I thought he was probably right, I simply said, ‘Emm!’ and maintained my stance as eternal observer. Stephie was as fickle a butterfly as Naz, and consistency and commitment did not appear in her vocabulary.
The glow of longing
On the day that we had arrived, Stephie had been in retreat, fasting in silence, so we had not seen her for the first week. Naz was palpably disappointed. It was then that I began to understand the ‘light of love’ issue. On the journey from the river, Naz had been talking non-stop about Stephie, to the point where John asked him to ‘give it a break’, but I could see that it was becoming a love thing, though I doubted Naz could or would ever admit that.
It can be hard to admit to yourself that you are in love
It made me laugh inside, because Naz always played the part of the cool dude whose heart was unobtainable to any one woman, and so he always played the field, but without commitment. But I could see that there was something in Stephie that had hooked him in. He was, in my mother’s terms, ‘smitten’. I was aware how difficult their parting had been for him though, as John pointed out, not for Stephie. Stephie had things planned with other people who she had been travelling with before, that she was committed to, and although both John and I had given Naz our blessing and said it was ok with us if he went with Steph, Naz was set on staying with us. He said, ‘No, we agreed when we set out that, come what may, we would see this through together and I will keep my promise.’
The light of commitment
This declaration by Naz was a bolt out of the blue. I had never seen him be committed to anything or anyone and I guess I always suspected that there would come a time when he would find another path and move off. I kind of just expected it to happen at some point. And I was moved by his statement and realised what a strong bond the three of us had developed.
The light of knowing
They say that you never know someone until you live with them. Maybe there is something beyond that and you only know someone when you travel with them. Our travelling had not been holiday travelling; we had walked, hitched, trained and trucked for over three-thousand miles and we had many miles yet to go. We had been safe and easy, in danger and threat, in love and laughter, and aggressions and tears. The road we travelled was really the road of life and, like in the story of the pilgrim’s progress, each mile and each day had new lessons awaiting us that tested us individually and together.
The light of friendship
The fact Naz had bonded with John and I made me realise just how much we had been through together. I realised that we were now brothers in spirit and in fact, and that, whatever happened now, we would always be that way for the rest of life. In that bonding, that was a bonding of love; we had a concern for each other and a desire that we should each achieve what we really wanted from our journey, but also from our lives.
As we travelled and talked, met people and experienced life, it became clearer with every step that what John wanted was to find a master who had both the knowledge and wisdom that he could respect and to whom he would become a devotee. Naz was looking for something, though he did not know what it was, but was sure that when he found it, it would all become clear. So it was vital that he experience everything that he possibly could, whenever he could, just in case he missed it.
The light of realisation
For me, the more we talked into the night, the thing that I saw in the darkness beyond the fire was my need for the light of understanding; I needed to know, in the fullest sense of the word, about people and about things, about God and about life. I needed to know why my childhood had been as it was; I needed to make sense of my life. I knew that I would not find it in a guru and in becoming a disciple or devotee, though I was sure that many teachers would each give me their bit of the mosaic of life, so that I would end up with a picture of life that made sense to me and made my life worthwhile.
When the light goes out
Looking at Naz now, I had a fear that he, my brother, was about to be hurt in a very big way. On the journey from the river, John had felt it too and tried to address this with him. John was, in many ways, parental and he was concerned that Naz would be hurt by Steph. Naz was so busy being cool and acting like nothing mattered that he would not address it.
We had been in Satsang, when Steph came in and sat on the other side of the hall. Naz began to glow and, as we chanted, I could hear a deep passion in his voice that had never been there before. He was looking towards Steph, though I noticed she was not looking towards him. John caught my eye and I could see his concern.
At the end of the session, we all tipped out into the sun. Naz was pushing ahead to get to Steph, so he was just ahead of us when we got to the door. There, framed in the door, was Steph in the arms of a man, who I later was introduced to as Peter. Watching Naz from behind, I could see his shoulders drop as he crumpled. Steph turned and waved at him and pranced off with her man. By the time I got to Naz, tears were running freely down his face, tears that extinguished any light that had been there before.
When you have a yappy dog, there are times when you just want it to shut up and be quiet. But when you have had a yappy dog, yapping for a month, that is suddenly silent, it feels as though something has died, that something is missing. I had never known Naz be quiet and it was like a death. Following any death, there is bereavement and that is a process that needs to be worked through organically and cannot be hurried. And so, for what turned into many weeks, John and I attended to Naz as he recovered.
The Sun will always rise again
Naz was seeking to learn from experience and the universe had kindly provided the lesson. From that day on, his relationships were very different, and, as John said, ‘He is much more responsible now’. I didn’t see the light of love in his eyes again for many, many years, until he finally met someone who was the ‘the one’ and then he shone like the Sun and that is a light that never goes out.
How is your light?
In your life, is there a light of love? Have you ever had your light put out by another person? Have you ever put out another person’s light? In the month of light, we need to let go of negative associations and feeling for those that have done us wrong in the past, and we need to turn to the future with the light of love and enjoy it.
So, who is it that you can the shine the light of your love on?
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Sunshine month takes me away
Sunshine month takes me away
We’re all going on a summer holiday
As I write this blog, the lads are loading the car, checking the oil and water in the engine. All I have to do now is to finish this, press send and then, as is my habit, check that the water bottles are full, back the car out of the drive and head for the horizon and the rising Sun. I love that feeling, the freedom of the open road and the wonder of not knowing what is around the next bend. I have Canned Heat playing in my head ‘...I’m on the road again’; it brings back so many good memories.
The dawn is such a magical time in all senses of the word. We use the image of the dawn to describe newness, breakthroughs, and new horizons: the dawn of the technical age, the dawn of the industrial society, the dawn of understanding. I see clients every day who experience that sense of coming into the light when, perhaps, for the first time in their lives, they can see things with a hitherto unknown clarity, as the truth dawns on them for the first time.
The person who is awake is always learning
In Ayurveda, my original training, it is acknowledged that the purpose of life is about learning, and that our body’s senses, mind and emotions are all designed to enable this to happen. Learning is a life-long process, though people may stop learning and growing at any age. Some people will cease development while in their childhood and may exhibit the emotional maturity of a seven-year old when they are seventy. However, the reverse may also be true, so that a seven-year old may possess the wisdom of a seventy-year old.
What is dawning on you?
If you are a growing, waking person, and I guess you are or you would not be reading this, there will be dreams, challenges and developments going on in your life that will represent new dawnings of understanding for you. I think about this a lot and review where I am up to. I use the contemplation part of my meditation sessions to do this, so dawnings are...
Time waits for no man
I often heard this one, but it is dawning on me that time passes quickly and it is easy to procrastinate; there are things that I want to do before I turn up my toes. I was reading something by Jack Canfield that suggested writing down the one hundred things you would like to do before you die. That got me thinking, so I have set myself some goals.
Things to be done
My top five are...
1) To develop my life and my relationships in such a way that they benefit not only me, but all those that I interact with, especially with my Rie.
2) To develop the courses so that I have at least one thousand people a year doing the Ten Steps Program
3) To get all the books written that I have in my head
4) To record more music albums and maybe do some performing
5) To create a purpose-built environmentally-friendly building that is used as a centre of learning, therapy and respite for those on the path of self-development
It dawned on me many years ago that the only way to achieve these things is to be focussed on the task and to be consistent and persistent in all that I do to achieve my aims.
What are your five?
You may be able to go for the hundred, though five is a good start. What are the things that it is dawning on you that need to be done? It is time to get them done. Try not to put off till tomorrow what you need to get done today.
Hey ho and away I go
But task number one is to go and enjoy my holiday. Tomorrow, I will wake in Lille France and then heading down through Belgium, Luxemburg and Switzerland to stay in Basil. Then the Italian lakes for a while and then back up through Mont Blanc and Dijon. Watch the site and I’ll keep you posted on progress and try and use this wonderful technology to post some pics on the site.
So pop by Wednesday and have a wonderful week.
Sean x
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Your chance to ask questions
You have power over the light in your life
Are you lucky or just plain mad?
Let a little sunshine into your life with some Psychology for Your Soul
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Sean and the many gates to heaven
Wednesday 17th June 2009
I have received several emails asking me to tell some of my story and to share a bit about my own path. My siblings are a bit repressed and exclusive about the early years, so I tend to steer clear of that, not wishing to offend their sensibilities. Because of my experience as a child, I left home at the age of fifteen, the best thing I ever did. Despite my relationship with my mother, my contact with my father and siblings has been minimal and is now non-existent. As we had very different experiences of our upbringing and they effectively have a collective experience that is so different from mine, it is as though we came from different origins.
When I first left home, it took me a while to orient myself in the world and to direct myself in any meaningful way. Eventually I got going, I found my path and off I went.
The Path
When I went travelling, on my quest to find the answer to life, the universe and everything, I didn’t travel alone; I had two very close companions. Our personalities complemented each other like the three characters in a transactional analytical life script of Parent, Adult and Child.
The Parent
Jon Ironbridge was tall, strong, quiet and sensible. He never acted without consideration and hardly had a spontaneous bone in his body. As a dutiful and righteous soul, he was certainly our conscience and if we were ever about to do something silly or walk into danger, he would step in like a nurturing parent and save the day. Jon maintained his spiritual commitment, and to this day works to help those that have slipped on their spiritual path to regain their footing.
The Adult
I, Sean, was the adult in the T.A. trilogy. Unlike Jon, I was not looking for a Guru or external authority to validate myself. I was seeking the knowledge that would show me that all of us are equal, just at different places on the path. Our teacher, when talking to us, identified me as “the one who does not need a guru”. I heard that as an insult at the time, though now I know what he meant. I have always been uncomfortable with Guru-itis and also disciple-itis, though both diseases seem to provide complementary support for the participants. I took my learning and left the confines of the community that we lived in, becoming an active psychotherapist in the outside world.
The Child
The child in our trilogy was Naz Droffi, a man guaranteed to make you laugh. In TA terms, Naz was a free child. He had not been tarnished by a negative childhood, and always rose above the problems and challenges that we encountered on our journey with humour and a positive energy. His smile and twinkling eye made him a magnet to the opposite sex, a role that he did not shrink from. Naz went on to study Tantra and meditation. Then, with some psychotherapy training, became a psycho-sexual therapist and teacher of the Tantric arts.
Three men with a hope
We have been firm friends since we discovered each other in our teens, in a bazaar setting that I will tell you about sometime. We have a symbiosis like brothers, so that even if we are far apart, we have that connection that is beyond cognition and yet below awareness, in an intuitive understanding of what each other is up to, and that includes support and help when needed.
Anyway, the decision to set out together, although momentous, was quite easy to make. Jon wanted knowledge of matters spiritual; I had fallen out of a difficult relationship, a speciality of mine at the time, and was seeking some meaning to life; and Naz wanted some fun and a new experience. Our greatest commonality, beyond the fact that we were all young men with testosterone-charged bodies, was our spiritual beliefs, all from different origins, all questioning our roots and all seeking ‘the truth’, if such a thing could be found. So, where to begin our quest?
Mr Moon
The reverend Sung Yung Moon was a self-styled spiritual leader, who fathered a world-wide church that was both evangelical and controversial. His followers, also known as ‘Moonies’, lived in communities and ashrams. They claimed to know ‘the way’, so off we went to have a look. We did not go alone, altogether there were about twelve of us who knew each other.
The Moonies were all respectable young people in suits and smart haircuts, a complete contrast to those of us in hippie garb, with hair that flew in the wind or, in my case, a topiary of curls. The Moonies were fresh-faced and healthy, while the rest of us smoked a variety of substances, and most of us looked like a good meal would not have done us any harm.
The New, New Testament
The way the system in the Moonies worked was that each week we were introduced to a new chapter of ‘The Divine Principle’; that was their new bible, a bit like a new–new testament. As the sessions went on, we saw those that we had arrived with being sucked into the church. One man who, a few weeks earlier, had resembled an under-nourished mountain goat and who made his money from the sale of cannabis resin, was now wearing a suit and in danger of becoming overweight.
We could buy most of it. After all, the teachings of any faith have an element of truth and this was based in the teachings of Jesus, plus Mr Moon’s additions. There were two things that happened that brought us up short. The first was in the final chapter of the divine principle: this revealed that Mr Moon was the second messiah and that the second coming of Christ had and was happening right here and now. As I said earlier, I have never been a good disciple. The second thing was that Mr Moon would be coming to pay a visit and that we would all be able to meet him.
We do not fit into everyone’s shoes
Well, I have no wish to offend any followers of Mr Moon. I can only say that for me, he was as far away from my image of a Christ figure as anyone could get. So, after talking it over, we three decided that it was time to go and take our search to other people in other places. The rest of those that we had arrived with decided to stay and were put out at our leaving. At one point, and it was quite intimidating, we were told very firmly that the only reason we could not see that Mr Moon was the new messiah was because the Devil was in our souls, and that if we just ignored that inner voice and went along with the rest of the church, all would, in time, be revealed when we were ready and we would see the light.
The learning for me was this. Whatever the nature of God, or whatever you would like to call that causal energy that brought the universe into being, it must be inclusive, not exclusive, and there must be many gates to heaven. The concept that there is only one way and one path belonged to the dark ages of the inquisition.
So we three made a pact. I, on our quest, anyone or any group ever told us, “this is the way and the only way and if you don’t come this way it is hell and damnation for you”, we would pack our stuff and move on until we found a place of inclusion, that had a potential to create what we agreed would be heaven on earth, a place where equality and acceptance really did exist.
Heaven and God are within each individual, in you and in me. There is not, and never will be, any external agency or force that will solve anything for us. The psychology of your soul is within you. It is your connection to the entire universe. Listen to your inner voice and follow your heart, and in so doing, you will progress on your own path.
Take care
Sean x
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