December, the month of giving - What can you get from giving?

December, the month of giving - What can you get from giving?

For many people, it takes a bit of a leap to get hold of the idea that what you give tells you more about yourself than it does about the person that you give the gift to. If you get on one of my self-discovery programmes, you will discover the wonders of the feedback sessions. At first, we believe that when we give feedback, what we are talking about is the other person. As the course proceeds, the realisation is that the feedback I give others is more about me than them.

The gift of feedback

On the self-discovery course, the concept is that feedback is a gift. When we give feedback with love, it is never negative; feedback can only ever be good, it is a gift. But when I give feedback, what is it that I am doing? How do I know that you are the way that I see you? The answer is that I don’t. All I have is my experience, and my experience is biased to me.

The Law of Attraction

We know that we only see the things that we focus upon. That is what “thoughts become things” means. So that if we have negative internal feelings, we will have negative external experience. We can only experience what we focus on, positive or negative. In everyday reality, this means that I will only see in you what I am focussing on in me. My internal thoughts will become the things that I see in you.

The accuracy of our experience

My ability to see you accurately will be a direct readout of how clearly I see myself. The clearer that I see me, the clearer I see you and the world. Obversely, the less I understand of myself, the less I will understand you and the world. This is the Law of Attraction working. Unless I am extending and developing my understanding of myself, this is self-discovery then, I will never extend my understanding of you.

What your gifts say about you

If you are following my thought process here, you will realise that when I choose you a gift, I am saying, in one form or another, that I understand you enough to know what it is you would want. So my gift actually describes the way that I see you. But if my perception of you is limited by my understanding of myself, then my gift to you will say much more about me than it ever will about you.

So what are you buying people?

Have a look at the gifts you have chosen for other people and review them in terms of what it is that they say about you. Why have you chosen each gift? What does it say about your perception of the person you have got it for? What does it say about you?

Try this one

Write a sentence like, “I got this (fill in the blank) for (whoever) because (c0mplete the sentence)”. Now rewrite the sentence in the first person, “I got this (fill in the blank) for (whoever) because giving it made me feel (complete the sentence)”. You will begin to understand yourself a little better.

Live action

I bought Rie, a Pashley bike for Christmas last year, because I thought she would look good on it and that would give me pleasure; the fact that she liked it as well was a bonus.

The more we wake up, the more we realise that the gifts that we give are just like the feedback that we give, they are a direct readout of our self.

So, what are you giving and why?

Take care.

Love, Sean x